A phenomenon has recently been brought to my attention, the phenomenon of the mummy mean girls. Chances are, the mummy mean girl has been around for centuries, however with today’s social networking, the mummy mean girls have found each other…and they have united.
But what, you ask, is a mummy mean girl?
In high school there were mean girls. Especially if, like me you went to an all girls school (shout out to my S.U.C.K sisters!). The mean girls weren’t necessarily your straight up bullies, they wouldn’t be mean directly to your face, but there was a certain passive aggressiveness to them. They had a way of making you feel completely crap about yourself without having to resort to nastiness. They certainly had a talent.
In uni, I must admit that at one point I did fall into the trap of being a bit of a mean girl. It stemmed from pure laziness really, I wasn’t a fan of lectures so generally didn’t go because they weren’t compulsory, and a girl who lived nearby wanted a lift to and from uni, she even scheduled her timetable to match mine so that I could drive her. Problem being that if I drove her it meant I had to wait around for the lectures, and I was just not willing to do so. Also, when I drive I turn into a full on rock star. Her being in the car with me was cramping my style. So I was a mean girl, and yes sometimes I would hide from her so I could drive home alone, especially when Kylie released her ‘Fever’ album…Rock on.
A mummy mean girl may not have ever been a mean girl in high school or at uni. She isn’t the mummy who is always immaculate, even during swimming lessons, or the mummy who is always super prepared and seems to have something in that baby bag for every single occasion. The mummy mean girls have found something that they are super passionate about and believe that everyone should be doing it their way.
I have met mummy mean girls who are obsessed with baby wearing, breastfeeding, formula feeding, baby led weaning, crying it out, not crying at all, car seats, attachment parenting, dummy’s, no dummy’s cloth nappies, co-sleeping, the list goes on and on! And while many of us mummy’s are passionate about many of these things, or just want to give it a go (just got my first delivery of cloth nappies), the mummy mean girl has taken her passion to the next level and her mission is to promote and aggressively (often not even passive aggressively) push her views on others.
The mummy mean girl has a way of making you feel inferior because your child wants a cuddle to go to sleep, or your child doesn’t want a cuddle to sleep, or you were only able to breastfeed for six months, or your two year old still has a dummy, or your six month old doesn’t sleep through the night, or your six month old does sleep through the night.
Now through social networks like facebook, twitter, and the one that has recently come to my attention – instagram, these mummy’s are uniting and creating the mummy mean girl phenomenon, and their intention it seems, is to make other mummy’s feel like crap. Sometimes all it takes is a look in the shopping centre, or a subtle comment on your photo.
Feels like high school all over again!
I think it is great that through social networks we can find other mummy’s who we share common interest with and bond over and get parenting tips and ideas from. But we must remember that we are all trying our best and just because something works for one person, does not mean it is going to work for someone else. And just because it worked with one baby, doesn’t mean that it will work with the other.
We all need to be comfortable in the choices we make for our little people, and hope that our choices don’t screw them up for life. Its hard enough being a mummy without another mummy poo poo-ing your decision.
So lets just unite as mothers and embrace the different choices we make for our little people.
And stick to being mean girls to the daddy’s.
Sarah - The Lake Mac Mama 